Sunday, November 30, 2008

Will the real Wanch Waggler please stand up

Dear Southwest Ranches Friends and Neighbors:

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and if I don't see you later…well then…Good Night!

People send this old Wanch email all the time trying to guess my identity. It’s no use. No one has ever come close although its always fun looking at the "pieces of evidence" used to proclaim my personage. A nom de plume has always been an important literary tool and will continue to be such in our humble town.

Many authors take up "pen names,” or pseudonym, such as George Orwell, Dr. Seuss, and O. Henry, to conceal their identity. Many female writers before the 20th century also used pen names; George Eliot, George Sand, and James Tiptree, Jr. are among the few. George Orwell was actually Eric Arthur Blair, Mark Twain was, as we all know, Samuel Langhorne Clemens, Voltaire was really François - Marie Arouet, and Stephen King also has authored his books under the pen names: Richard Bachman (most well-known for The Running Man inspired the Arnold Schwarzenegger film of the same name.) and John Swithen under which King wrote a short story, "The Fifth Quarter". George Eliot was in fact a woman named Mary Ann Evans

A pseudonym may also be used to hide the identity of the author, as in the case of exposé books about espionage, crime, or political corruption. Silence Dogood, Harry Meanwell, Alice Addertongue, Richard Saunders, and Timothy Turnstone were a few of the many pseudonyms Benjamin Franklin used throughout his career to speak out against treats to his society. Starting to understand why there has been a need for a pseudonym.

With revengeful and vindictive council members of the past and the continued need for credibility of the Wanch when occasional advise and suggestions are made to the council. Would the morally-insolvent Mr. Maines have voted differently when it was time to oust his mentor John Canada if he knew the Wanch Waggler was personally supporting ousting and speaking out against the master manipulator?

People may feel more comfortable speaking their mind without fear of political retribution from the current town council, but remember, our system is not flawless and vindictive people may be elected in the future. Some people have long memories. Remember when town was formed, Don Maines tried unsuccessfully when the to run for office, later when he was elected after Johnny Dollar’s premature death, he carried forward grudges from the past and his votes reflected his intent to assert himself against his detractors. Susan Winn is in the wings waiting for an opportunity, she has made many enemies over the years. Moreover, don’t forget Al Avello, he lost to Steve Breitkreuz, and most recently he was campaign treasurer for Maines and lost there too. While Al has dropped out of political sight and has crawled back into his hole after filing a FEC complaint that actually got his candidate fined. He will assuredly be back in about a year to announce his intention to run against Breitkreuz since the Machine has no influence on the current council. If any of these people knew who their critic was or any others who the Wanch has censured over the years know identities, tires would suddenly go flat, rocks would find windows and code enforcement would be nudged to check into this and that.

Thus, the Wanch will write on in the security of anonymity. This note was prompted by Mr. Vincent, who I can assuredly say are not the Wanch Waggler and I can say so with authority because I am the Wanch Waggler.

That's All Folks!

Wanch Waggler

Wanch Waggler
Submitted by: "No I'm not him either, Tony Vincent"

Over the past two years I have had the honor of being accused of being a reporter by the name of "Wanch Waggler." I have been made to raise my right hand in sworn testimony regarding an enigma called "Wanch Waggler." My livelihood was put at risk because an ousted Town of Southwest Ranches councilman decided that I was "Wanch Waggler" and he set out to prove it, telling my employer that I was the evil "Wanch Waggler." I have seen the name "Wanch Waggler" appear in major newspapers and most recently in this publication where it was announced that the Sunshine Ranches Waggler was NOT "Wanch Waggler" either.
What is this obsession with "Wanch Waggler?"

From what I read and hear, "Wanch Waggler" is either loved or hated. I have never heard it said that there was any gray area when it came to how people feel about "Wanch Waggler." From everything that I have read, "Wanch Waggler" tells the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth but somehow some folks consider that a threat and try to distance themselves from "Wanch Waggler" or blame "Wanch Waggler" for their lot in life.

If anyone should be hocked off at "Wanch Waggler" it should be me (well, Don Maines and the former SRHA board is probably not very happy with him/her either). Every time I have turned around during the past two years someone is shoving, waving, slamming, throwing or showing me something that I supposedly had something to do with. I should be the one mad at "Wanch Waggler", but I'm not. My goodness folks, aside from the few weenies that have felt the wrath of "Wanch Waggler", he/she is a rock star! Why would anyone (or any publication) continually try to distance themselves from this "Hero" of Southwest Ranches?

Personally, I know who "Wanch Waggler" was back in 1969. I watched a beautiful woman type on a 1950's manual "Royal" typewriter as the then "Wanch Waggler" dictated his message to her. I watched that same woman tuck away the copy on what was then called copy paper or onionskin of what she had typed and save the carbon paper for use on another day. That woman was my Mother, Sally Falletta and "Wanch Waggler" was my Father, Vincent Falletta.
Could this be the reason that some think that I am "Wanch Waggler?" Is this why I've been put through the proverbial "wringer" so to speak for the last two years? I really don't know and you know what? I really don't care. I am honored to have been accused of being "Wanch Waggler", but you know what folk's, I'm not him/her.

Stop obsessing over "Wanch Waggler." He/she is on your side if you are honest and truthful and have some integrity. On the other hand, from what I have read, you are screwed if you're dishonest and deceitful and choose to challenge the Gnome.

Stop denying or defending yourselves about being "Wanch Waggler." If my livelihood had not been threatened, I would be proud to have claimed that I was "Wanch Waggler" and that sure would have been fun.

"Wanch Waggler" has been around a very long time and just like lassie, I think there has been more than one person in the starring role as "Wanch Waggler." I embrace the enigma, I appreciate his/her message and I hope to read much more of "Wanch Waggler" in years to come. Personally, I can't get enough of "Wanch Waggler" I visit his/her Web Log daily at:

Rock on "Wanch Waggler" and thank you. You've added lots of excitement to my life over the past two years and for that I am grateful.

I, Tony Vincent say; Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and God Bless America. I'm damn proud to live in a country where freedom of speech prevails and honesty and integrity always wins.

That's all…...umm.... no.... I won't even joke about that!
Happy Holiday's to everyone and to "Wanch Waggler" whoever you are!

First our Turtles and now....

Dear Southwest Ranches Friends and Neighbors:

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and if I don't see you later…well then…Good Night!

What you are about to read is a true story. What you need to do as residents is clear.

During the Thanksgiving Holiday weekend a group of Latin men from Miami-Dade County decided to shop for their Thanksgiving dinner within the parameters of Southwest Ranches. Many of us have agricultural exemptions that allow us to have such edibles as turkeys, chickens, pigs, cows and even emu's on our property. The men from Miami-Dade seem to view Southwest Ranches as their private supermarket. What items were on the menu and how did they go about procuring them? Read on.

The men swam across a canal and entered onto one of our resident's private property, posted with no trespassing signs and another sign which, in this case, will break the hearts of many readers. The other sign reads "Certified Wildlife Habitat."

Please don't consider me naïve when I tell you that the "Miami-Dade" shoppers' menu item was iguanas. True, iguanas are not indigenous to our area, but they, through no fault of their own, have made a home here and instinctively know what areas may be safer for them to live. The iguanas are a delicacy for some people. Those people think that the ranches is their supermarket. This must stop.

One of the men was caught on the private property and all four men were detained until police arrived. Only one of the men was able to produce identification. One large iguana had already been captured. Iguanas like lobsters, clams and turtles are kept alive until the moment of consumption. The already captured iguana had its rear legs and tail bound in a heavy hemp rope and its front legs secured over its back in "handcuffing" style. The "handcuffs" that bound the iguanas front legs were in actuality, its own long sharp toenails that had been pierced through the opposite legs toe. The men were ordered to unbind the iguana at which point the rope was removed and the front legs were torn apart with the iguana losing its toes.

The men were not arrested for trespassing or animal cruelty. They were free to go.
Folk's, we have been fighting the turtle poaching in our area for years. Just because a creature is not indigenous to our area should not be reason to allow this kind of cruelty and law breaking to occur. Outsiders come into our area in alarming numbers and have no reservations about entering onto your property and harvesting your charges. This must stop!

Folk's, I encourage you to be vigilant. EVERY TIME you see a vehicle you don't recognize in our area, especially around a canals edge, call the police. This is quite out of hand now. Allowing outsiders free roam of private property without the consequence of incarceration. What will it take for these trespassers and thieves to be arrested? Must we be found dead in our beds before something is done? How far onto our properties are they allow to come before action will be taken? Call the the the police.

That's all Folks!!!

A very P*****d Off Wanch Waggler

Please leave your comments below

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Great Alley Give Away or There is a stink in the Swamp and it smell like bad politics

  • Dear Southwest Ranches Friends and Neighbors:Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and if I don't see you later…well then…Good Night!
    When Florida elected its governor in 2007 she though she was getting a reformer, a leader, someone who protect citizen rights and straighten out the problems left by our own Bush in Tallahassee, someone with vision. He was viewed as a populist, as a people's governor, as someone who would do the right thing.

    California has a reelected governor, a populist, formerly know as the Terminator, who has vision, is widely popular, wants to be viewed as a green governor, has developed a stimulus package for his state by flowing more money to its construction industries through DOT contracts, and is privatizing some of California's transportation project to get them funded and completed.

    Do any of California initiatives sound strikingly like Florida initiatives you've been reading about in the papers?

    Governor Popular must have been at one of those national governors' events or maybe at some republican events and over heard Governor Terminator plans for California to right the boat in a bad economy but maybe the accent got in the way or too much bubbly. Florida now has ridiculous hotel green laws that all Disney hotel qualify under. It is hard to believe that the Dolphin, Swan, and Grand Floridian hotels could be made green, environmentally friendly hotels in less than a year. They probably had to fill out an application, pay a free and poof, they were green. I will bet California's green laws are a bit more stringent. The governor is asking state agencies to speed up their construction spending when an additional $2 billion budget deficit looming. And now privatizing state assets to fill its emptying coffers.

    Now Governor Populist is going to have a fire sale of state assets. As we have seen in the private sector over the last year, when responsible private firms lose ground they smartly sell off non-performing or low value assets to generate cash flow. We have also seen Federal bailouts in unprecedented figures. Florida is in a similar crisis however, the Governor has decided to create his own playbook for this one. Maybe he should be calling his newfound idol, Arnold. Rather than seek a federal bailout, after all the Fed is supposed to be the bank of last resort for the states, our governor has decided to start selling off high value state assets. He is doing under the guise or ploy that they are trying to establish a value on the Alley. Why, for tax purposes? Doubtful! For a sale? In the words of that new articulate, political profit Sarah Palin, "You betcha!"

    Alligator Alley is one such state asset. The highway is part of the interstate system, because of its low operating costs is a cash cow for the DOT, and is probably under-tolled as compared to the Turnpike, Sawgrass, or central Florida Toll roads. Rather than the Dot slowly raising the tolls over many years, reaping the benefits, and plowing them back into the Florida economy and Florida's Dot, Governor Populist has decided to take the easy way out and press they easy button from a political standpoint. He wants to lease the Alley to a foreign corporation (no taxes paid to US economy and big executive salaries and profits go offshore) and use those profits to make up some of Florida's deficit problems. Oh, by the way, they are also offering lump sum payment to the local municipalities and counties (take this and go away money). Let me put it this way, would you mortgage your how to pay your power bill or buy gas for your car? Clearly, our governor would.

    There is one final public hearing coming up where residents can express their opinion on this bad deal for the people. It is next week. The details below are per the DOT website:

    Alligator Alley Public Workshop
    Date: Wednesday, December 03, 2008
    Time: 6:00 pm to 8:00 pm
    Location Name: Signature Grand
    Street Address: 6900 State Road 84
    City: Davie, FL 33117
    Purpose: This is one of two workshops being held by the Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) to obtain additional public input on the proposed leasing of Alligator Alley.

    Alligator Alley is a 78-mile section of Interstate 75 in South Florida connecting the southwestern and southeastern coastal areas of Florida. It was originally constructed during the late 1960s as a two-lane, controlled access toll road and was known in the original bond documents as Everglades Parkway. From 1986 to 1992, Alligator Alley was widened to four lanes and made a limited access, tolled, interstate facility (I-75).

    Public participation is solicited without regard to race, color, national origin, age, sex, religion, disability, or family status.

    If you need special accommodations under the Americans with Disabilities Act or require translation services, (free of charge) please contact Dick Kane by phone at 850-414-4590 or by e-mail at

    Project Web Site:
    Primary Contact: Dick Kane
    Primary Phone: 850-414-4595

    Please get informed by going out to the DOT link above. Please go to the public meeting next Wednesday. Our new Mayor and council should go to the meeting and support the town's resident's interest. These public meetings have been poorly attended in the past. We need to send a message that fire sales of public assets are bad, short-term deal for the people of Florida and the resident that use the highway. Do you want to be paying twelve dollar each way on the Alley? Southwest Ranches has resident that commute to Naples daily for their precious jobs, will they continue to afford to go west to work every day if they have to pay $24 daily in tolls? Alternatively, will they join the ranks of the Bush-Crist unemployed?
    That's all Folks!!!Wanch Waggler

Sunday, November 23, 2008


Warning From Police provided by one of our SWR neighbors


You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car, and get inside. You start the engine and shift into Reverse.

When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window. Therefore, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view. When you reach the back of your car that is when the carjackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off.

In addition, guess what, women, I bet your purse is still in the car. So now, the carjacker has your car, your home address, your money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!


If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just drive away. Remove the paper later

Friday, November 21, 2008

Tell all of your friends, or better yet, email all of your friends that the Wanch Waggler is alive and well in WEB BLOG land

Dear Southwest Ranches Friends and Neighbors:

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and if I don't see you later…well then…Good Night!

The dust is settling; we have now seen our newly elected Town Council on the dais on two occasions, and we are a very happy group of residents! I suspect the Wanch Waggler chatter will slow a bit, and that is to be expected. But I wanted you all to be aware that Wanch Waggler is still alive and well in WEB BLOG land, and I would very much like to see you, the residents, keep up the dialog with each other, in conversations and news items about our town even if I can't enter in my witty comments as often as I used to.

The web log address is:

Read some of the comments that have already been posted. Join in the followers group. Check out my profile if you really wanna know who I am!

And it's quite simple to use. You can make up a blog name for yourself and enter your comments in an anonymous capacity as I have always encouraged. You can even be notified at your email address when a new comment is posted! Just follow the simple directions in setting up your Blog name and you're good to go.

The ousted councilman and his followers were bashed anonymity because it did not afford them the opportunity to retaliate against those who spoke out against them and their deceitful ways. One or two residents who did fore go anonymity got their noses minimally "bloodied" during the election so to speak, but I saw them at the installation of our new council on November 13th and trust me, they did not look any worse for the wear. Ms. Eileen Dunn looked radiant and Mr. Tony Vincent looked…well hell…he looked radiant too!

Anyway, I ask that you all take advantage of the new blog site. Talk to each other. We are a brand new Town today thanks to all of you who voted wisely. Even though my "biting" brand of verbal dissemination may dwindle, we should still talk to each other about the Town and its happenings, whether it is good or not so good at times. Remember that we are "We the People" and what we have to say is not only important but also it sure as heck is effective!

Happy Thanksgiving Folks! We have a lot to be thankful for, especially this November!

That's All Folks!

Wanch Waggler

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Dear Southwest Ranches Friends and Neighbors:

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and if I don't see you later…well then…Good Night!

We the People have spoken. We the People have been heard. With jubilation, on November 13th 2008, the Town of Southwest Ranches began to rebuild its political reputation that was, in my opinion, sullied. With joy, the Town of Southwest Ranches installed its newly elected officials; entrusting them to serve the town fairly, respectfully and without reservation or bias.

Our newly elected officials have paid close attention to "We the People" during the past year and a half, watching one community in Southwest Ranches clean up its homeowners association and rebuild it with pride and dignity. Our newly elected officials paid close attention to results of indiscretion within its own ranks, saw the corrections that were made and most assuredly even learned a little bit along the way about the power of "We the People."

For me personally, it has been a roller coaster ride; never really being able to please all of the people, all of the time. I have done the best I knew how to do in disseminating the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, mixing it with humor and discipline and with writing that is sometimes grammatically lacking and spelling that always needed assistance from spell check.

For those of you who wrote to me and accused me of being too harsh, well, you are entitled to your opinion. For those of you who wrote to me and accused me of being too soft, you too are entitled to your opinion. Personally, I make no apologies; if it came out of my face space…you can bet it was researched and it was the truth. Personally, I have no regrets. The results are in (again) and I am pleased with the outcome.

To that small group of people, those residents who labeled "We the People" as dissidents, malcontents, idiots and trouble makers; who now have all that extra time on their hands, I ask…was it worth it? What were you thinking? Where you once had some political clout and some respect within the town, you flushed it all away like a snotty ball of Kleenex when you started attacking individuals for having the temerity to speak up, or started attacking individuals because of their lifestyle, or started attacking individuals because they wanted to play by the rules. Take a lesson…that crap just don't cut it anymore!

For those residents in majority who want to move forward without hatred and without prejudice…please include me in your group. I did what I needed to do. I said what needed to be said. I am not just a mean old lady like the paperboy said!
Congratulations to our fine new council. Listen to your peeps. Answer their emails. You are our last best hope. We are counting on you.

And I'll be watching!

That's all Folks!!!

Wanch Waggler