Sunday, November 30, 2008

Will the real Wanch Waggler please stand up

Dear Southwest Ranches Friends and Neighbors:

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and if I don't see you later…well then…Good Night!

People send this old Wanch email all the time trying to guess my identity. It’s no use. No one has ever come close although its always fun looking at the "pieces of evidence" used to proclaim my personage. A nom de plume has always been an important literary tool and will continue to be such in our humble town.

Many authors take up "pen names,” or pseudonym, such as George Orwell, Dr. Seuss, and O. Henry, to conceal their identity. Many female writers before the 20th century also used pen names; George Eliot, George Sand, and James Tiptree, Jr. are among the few. George Orwell was actually Eric Arthur Blair, Mark Twain was, as we all know, Samuel Langhorne Clemens, Voltaire was really François - Marie Arouet, and Stephen King also has authored his books under the pen names: Richard Bachman (most well-known for The Running Man inspired the Arnold Schwarzenegger film of the same name.) and John Swithen under which King wrote a short story, "The Fifth Quarter". George Eliot was in fact a woman named Mary Ann Evans

A pseudonym may also be used to hide the identity of the author, as in the case of exposé books about espionage, crime, or political corruption. Silence Dogood, Harry Meanwell, Alice Addertongue, Richard Saunders, and Timothy Turnstone were a few of the many pseudonyms Benjamin Franklin used throughout his career to speak out against treats to his society. Starting to understand why there has been a need for a pseudonym.

With revengeful and vindictive council members of the past and the continued need for credibility of the Wanch when occasional advise and suggestions are made to the council. Would the morally-insolvent Mr. Maines have voted differently when it was time to oust his mentor John Canada if he knew the Wanch Waggler was personally supporting ousting and speaking out against the master manipulator?

People may feel more comfortable speaking their mind without fear of political retribution from the current town council, but remember, our system is not flawless and vindictive people may be elected in the future. Some people have long memories. Remember when town was formed, Don Maines tried unsuccessfully when the to run for office, later when he was elected after Johnny Dollar’s premature death, he carried forward grudges from the past and his votes reflected his intent to assert himself against his detractors. Susan Winn is in the wings waiting for an opportunity, she has made many enemies over the years. Moreover, don’t forget Al Avello, he lost to Steve Breitkreuz, and most recently he was campaign treasurer for Maines and lost there too. While Al has dropped out of political sight and has crawled back into his hole after filing a FEC complaint that actually got his candidate fined. He will assuredly be back in about a year to announce his intention to run against Breitkreuz since the Machine has no influence on the current council. If any of these people knew who their critic was or any others who the Wanch has censured over the years know identities, tires would suddenly go flat, rocks would find windows and code enforcement would be nudged to check into this and that.

Thus, the Wanch will write on in the security of anonymity. This note was prompted by Mr. Vincent, who I can assuredly say are not the Wanch Waggler and I can say so with authority because I am the Wanch Waggler.

That's All Folks!

Wanch Waggler

Wanch Waggler
Submitted by: "No I'm not him either, Tony Vincent"

Over the past two years I have had the honor of being accused of being a reporter by the name of "Wanch Waggler." I have been made to raise my right hand in sworn testimony regarding an enigma called "Wanch Waggler." My livelihood was put at risk because an ousted Town of Southwest Ranches councilman decided that I was "Wanch Waggler" and he set out to prove it, telling my employer that I was the evil "Wanch Waggler." I have seen the name "Wanch Waggler" appear in major newspapers and most recently in this publication where it was announced that the Sunshine Ranches Waggler was NOT "Wanch Waggler" either.
What is this obsession with "Wanch Waggler?"

From what I read and hear, "Wanch Waggler" is either loved or hated. I have never heard it said that there was any gray area when it came to how people feel about "Wanch Waggler." From everything that I have read, "Wanch Waggler" tells the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth but somehow some folks consider that a threat and try to distance themselves from "Wanch Waggler" or blame "Wanch Waggler" for their lot in life.

If anyone should be hocked off at "Wanch Waggler" it should be me (well, Don Maines and the former SRHA board is probably not very happy with him/her either). Every time I have turned around during the past two years someone is shoving, waving, slamming, throwing or showing me something that I supposedly had something to do with. I should be the one mad at "Wanch Waggler", but I'm not. My goodness folks, aside from the few weenies that have felt the wrath of "Wanch Waggler", he/she is a rock star! Why would anyone (or any publication) continually try to distance themselves from this "Hero" of Southwest Ranches?

Personally, I know who "Wanch Waggler" was back in 1969. I watched a beautiful woman type on a 1950's manual "Royal" typewriter as the then "Wanch Waggler" dictated his message to her. I watched that same woman tuck away the copy on what was then called copy paper or onionskin of what she had typed and save the carbon paper for use on another day. That woman was my Mother, Sally Falletta and "Wanch Waggler" was my Father, Vincent Falletta.
Could this be the reason that some think that I am "Wanch Waggler?" Is this why I've been put through the proverbial "wringer" so to speak for the last two years? I really don't know and you know what? I really don't care. I am honored to have been accused of being "Wanch Waggler", but you know what folk's, I'm not him/her.

Stop obsessing over "Wanch Waggler." He/she is on your side if you are honest and truthful and have some integrity. On the other hand, from what I have read, you are screwed if you're dishonest and deceitful and choose to challenge the Gnome.

Stop denying or defending yourselves about being "Wanch Waggler." If my livelihood had not been threatened, I would be proud to have claimed that I was "Wanch Waggler" and that sure would have been fun.

"Wanch Waggler" has been around a very long time and just like lassie, I think there has been more than one person in the starring role as "Wanch Waggler." I embrace the enigma, I appreciate his/her message and I hope to read much more of "Wanch Waggler" in years to come. Personally, I can't get enough of "Wanch Waggler" I visit his/her Web Log daily at:

Rock on "Wanch Waggler" and thank you. You've added lots of excitement to my life over the past two years and for that I am grateful.

I, Tony Vincent say; Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and God Bless America. I'm damn proud to live in a country where freedom of speech prevails and honesty and integrity always wins.

That's all…...umm.... no.... I won't even joke about that!
Happy Holiday's to everyone and to "Wanch Waggler" whoever you are!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Good God Wanch, you whooped the morally-insolvant Maines' A**.

Great Job!!!