Saturday, October 3, 2009

Eavesdropping can be fun

Dear Southwest Ranches Friends and Neighbors:

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and if I don’t see you later…well then…Good Night!

And for this edition I add:

Good Morning Mr. and Mrs. America from border to border, coast to coast and all the ships at sea.

It is fun being me! Nobody knows who I am and that works to such an advantage sometimes it even surprises me.

The following is a true story. I swear on my 825 year old gnome mothers grave that what you are about to read is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

I am a Gnome who enjoys a good cup of Java every day. Some days I venture out to my favourite coffeehouse called Starbucks. On Friday morning I was sipping my java at the Starbucks located at 6981 West Broward Boulevard when what to my wandering eyes did appear but the Sheriff of Broward County hobnobbing with the common folk.

Now I’ve said I always tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so of course you would never guess that I was capable of eavesdropping right? Ummm no, you’d be wrong.

Our Sheriff, who of course has the contract with our town, was in his uniform chatting here and there throughout the Starbucks and then he stopped and talked to a resident of Southwest Ranches that I happened to recognize as I sat there infusing myself with caffeine. How impolite it would be of me to eavesdrop on their conversation … but I did just that.

This attractive middle aged lady who I recognized as a resident of Southwest Ranches was chatting with Sheriff Lamberti and said: “I think it’s just awful what your agency is doing to my friend [name withheld]" And to my surprise, but now with some delight, the Sheriff acknowleded that he knew of whom the lady spoke of and said to the lady “well there are two sides to every story and Don Maines said ……”

YOU MUST BE KIDDING ME RIGHT? Nope it’s true, Sheriff Lamberti is taking advice on how to treat an employee of BSO from Don Maines.

Now hold on here, let me take my nitro pill here and regroup. Don Maines has been arrested no less than 6 times for charges that vary from beating someone with a brick, to open-handedly hitting a woman, to being in possession of toxic drugs and drug paraphernalia, to defrauding an innkeeper, to uttering a forged instrument (all public records) and OUR Sheriff is taking advise from HIM?


Let your voices be heard:

That’s all Folks!!!!


Buford T. Justice said...

Hi Wanch:

Love the story, hate the new stark white background on your blog page. The blue type on the black background was more soothing. The current format looks cheaper than your previous format.

Commenting on the story I have to say nothing much surprises me anymore, but I can say that any association between Don Maines and the Sheriff is very disappointing.

I’ve heard it said that you can judge a person by the company that they keep.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the previous post. Why did you change the Blog Page Format?

Oh and yes, and Don Maines is a complete idiot. I agree with that too. Kind of scary that Lamberti even associates himself with that scumbag.

Donnie said...

Get your facts straight you creepy little gnome.

I was only arrested FIVE times and the BIOTCH who I hit, ran into my hand, in fact she ran into my hand twice!

And furthermore the guy banged his head repeatedly into the cement brick I was holding.

I'm going to get my lapdance peddler buddy to sue your gnome butt too!

The sheriff listens to ME! He takes his orders from ME!

Giddyup Bandit ... We have to start gittin ready for my election comeback!

THE JUDGE said...

I heard the A Hole Maines has a sealed Felony Charge. Credit Card Fraud. C'mon Donnie let us in on it.